no. 3 - people will remember how you made them feel

Every time we’ve interacted before, I’m left thinking how Sav is so much more self-assured than I was at her age. We spent an evening together killing two birds with one stone: she needed to follow me for a photography project, and I wanted to pick her brain about life. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact she wanted to take part in Kindred Conversations - but even more so by the beautiful thoroughness and depth of every answer she gave. Sav is a dreamer with enough gumption to turn them into reality. Sav is an artist of many different mediums. Sav is kind of person who will surprise you in the best possible way if you take the time to listen to her.

Tell me about yourself and what you’re all about.

My name is Savannah Jane Lucas. My parents call me Savannah. My grandparents call me Janie Sue. My friends call me Sav. My brothers call me when they're too lazy to send a text. I'm a college student with a handful of dreams that people often tell me will never come true, and I spend my time scheming ways and working to prove them wrong. I'm adventurous, stubborn, and quick on my feet. I can be as emotionally stoic as a brick wall one second, and then the next you can find me ugly crying at an ASPCA commercial--homeless animals are my weak spot. The shade of blue that you see in the sky on a cloudless day is my favorite color. I receive approval through the praise of my creative expression and the laughter of others. I'm a natural leader who thinks that she's always right, and the people I most value are those who aren't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. I rarely hesitate to speak my mind, and my friends often come to me when they need someone to tell it like it is. I am a classic introvert who is socially drained by small talk, and I need time alone to collect my thoughts and recharge. I have a variety of interests that have come about from the different spheres of influence I experienced growing up. I enjoy taking spontaneous road trips, fishing in the summertime, exploring new cities, reading witty essay-style novels written by my heroines of the entertainment industry, being outdoors, spending time with my close friends and my family, finding new hole-in-the wall hangouts, and documenting life through a lens. I like a myriad of things and enjoy having friendships with many different people, but it is important to note that I love selectively.

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?

I would simply tell my younger self to loosen up. I spent my childhood as a responsible, miniature adult. I was generally on a higher level of understanding than the majority of my peers, and I scoffed at the silliness of Nickelodeon cartoons and the absurdity of childish pranks at sleepovers. I was too mature for my own good, and I just wish that I would have been less afraid to let my hair down and less diligent about remaining so even-keeled and composed. Kids are supposed to be silly and say dumb things, and I think I would have learned to be myself sooner had I not latched onto a reserved nature so early in life.

What is your favorite creative outlet?

Most people might be surprised to hear that my favorite creative outlet is not photography, but music. I recently fulfilled a lifelong goal by teaching myself how to play guitar, and it has become one of my favorite ways to express myself creatively. I'm still a beginner and I am definitely not claiming to be great, but I can put a chord progression together and create music that could elicit a dollar or two from a passerby if I were to sit on a street downtown and just play. Learning guitar has allowed me to put some of the songs I have written to music, and I absolutely love when new melodies and lyrics come to me as am just sit and strum. The reason that I would place music over photography is that when I am taking photos, I often feel as though I am capturing expression as opposed to projecting my own. When I play and write music, I feel purely expressive, and it is extremely refreshing.  

If you could say something to the entire world, what would it be?

If I could say anything to the world (assuming the people of the world would actually listen), I would say this: Love everyone, all the time, to your fullest capability.

What inspires you creatively?

People inspire me. I draw the majority of my creative inspiration from people, nature, and my own personal experiences. Other artists are also a wonderful source of inspiration for me. If I see something that someone else has done, it starts a chain of creative thought. I do not seek to recreate the art of others, but it often serves as a springboard to a thousand possibilities for me to dream up.

Tell me more about why people provide inspiration? People inspire me because everyone has a different story to tell, and yet we're still all linked through these separate stories that intertwine. I can get inspiration through photography or music just by looking at different people and hearing their stories. Photography is the documenting of someone's story; you can tell their story through a photo. It's a big source of inspiration when I see others doing something I like and I can find a way to make that my own.

Give me your definition of the word “fulfillment.” What does it mean and what does it look like in your own life?

I personally define "fulfillment" as a lack of yearning. To be fulfilled means to be satisfied, which is something that many people claim to be before considering the potential that they have yet to reach. I do not think it is possible to exist in a state of fulfillment, because there is always something more to be yearned for, to be sought after and pursued. I believe that fulfillment is something that is only realized in retrospect; it's a way for me to look back at different seasons and phases of my life and measure the progress that I have made in my personal goals.

If fulfillment can only be realized in retrospect, is there a time of your own life you consider the most fulfilling? I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I was a junior in high school that caused me not to absorb any nutrients from my food because my body was basically attacking itself. I lost a ton of weight and became tired all the time. Like, I couldn't even walk to class my first semester of college. I kept getting worse and worse, and then in September of 2013, I was hospitalized after a horrific reaction to some medication. After a week of laying in a hospital bed, my doctor finally figured out a medication that would prevent my body from attacking itself. When I was released from the hospital with new meds, I felt more alive and fulfilled than I ever have. Possibly because I had reached a place of hopelessness, and had lost a sense of yearning because I was so mentally and physically exhausted. When I was finally able to walk to class and go out into the world, I was the happiest I've ever been. I was giddy all the time, simply because I was no longer trapped in my own body. I saw the world through a completely different perspective, viewing each breath as a gift. 

What legacy would you like to leave behind as you move forward in life?

As I move forward in life, I want to leave positive impressions. I do not want to cause anyone any more trouble than the world has already thrown at them, and leave things even a little better than the way they were when I first started. In the words of Maya Angelou, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." As I weave in and out of people's lives, and when I someday die, I want my legacy to be reflected and measured in the impact I had on the lives of individuals. My hope is that when I'm gone, people will say, "The only harm she ever did was when she left us."

That quote from Maya Angelou is one of my personal mottos. If you had to sum it up in just one word, how do you want to make people feel? I want to make people feel meaningful. I think it's important to make others feel important. A lot of people get caught up in the way the world turns and how crazy everything is, and some people don't have a huge support system. I think people need to be made to feel like they're important too. Some people have been abandoned, but they still need to feel important. How do you apply that in your own life? How do you make others feel important? I'm still a work in progress! I need to work on giving more people individual, quality attention. I'm a huge listener, and that's a huge part of how I make people feel loved and cared for. I feel like everyone is fighting for attention in this world, like they're saying "listen to me, listen to what I'm about." But if everyone's talking and no one's listening, no one really benefits.

I like that Savannah challenges the idea of finding fulfillment in our present. Is it even possible to achieve that lack of yearning? I’m conflicted as I try to form an answer. Part of me knows as human beings, we’re prone to searching, wandering hearts. Our culture constantly pushes us to grow, to be better. And while the pressure to improve can lead to radical and positive growth, sometimes I think we forget that we are enough. You have so much value simply because you exist - not because of your grades or job or contribution to society. You’re enough. What would happen if we let ourselves be at peace with that instead of constantly striving? I think a key to “fulfillment” actually might lie not how much we can improve, but somewhere in that elusive sense of peace.

You should go look at Sav's photography here. I'd love to have a Kindred Conversation with you, reader! If you're interested, fill out the contact form on the left. As always, I'm so grateful that you read this.